Romance on the rocks? Sex life more fizzle than sizzle? Never fear! On my last visit to Haiti a few months ago I found a solution: Vodou Dolls.

Cleanse your mind of any sketchy thoughts of sticking pins in miniaturized stuffed representations of your bae. This isn’t some sensationalized Hollywood horror show.

I’m talking REAL Haitian Vodou Dolls, which as you can see from the photo above, are quite general in appearance.

Advertisement

Okay, obviously the red one is the male (OBVIOUSLY), but other than that, these dolls couldn’t be much more simple and plain.

I came to know of them in the cozy little gift shop just off the check-in desk at the Marriott Port-au-Prince. No ordinary hotel emporium filled with all manner of frivolous “Made in China” knickknacks and cheap t-shirts, this petit boutique stocks all manner of arts, crafts, coffees, fashion accessories, and snacks all made in Haiti.

One thing they didn’t have when I stopped by, though, was Vodou Dolls. No worry. The store clerk simply directed me to their main outlet nearby. There, I learned the loving truth about these dolls from another clerk…

If you have problems in your marriage/your love life, tie the dolls together and place them under your bed. This will solve everything.

As is true of just about everything related to Vodou, the dolls are meant to promote healing. In a country like Haiti, where access to healthcare is especially hard to come by outside of the main cities, religion plays a central role in all types of healing. Physical ailments, spiritual distress, money woes – Vodou provides a panacea for it all.

Along those lines, Vodou Dolls mend broken relationships, the figures joined together beneath the bed symbolically, spiritually, and, ultimately, physically bringing lovers back together.

Now, in case you’re wondering, no, I haven’t put these dolls to the test just yet. I do keep them in a safe place, though. You know, just in case…

Last updated by on .